that time of the semester—

packaging is shit. totally, totally, totally. ugh.

basically, i suck at creating 3d stuff. and i'm lethal when i hold a scalpel. don't get me wrong, i do find packaging design interesting, BUT! only when i'm not the one designing.

so i've been stuck at the exact same place for almost 2 weeks. too many things to do, too little time to think, and too little motivation left. not exactly a good combo, yeh? i've been spending my weekend unwinding, wandering around the city, talking shit with friends and trying to de-stress. not exactly productive (in fact, not productive AT ALL) but i do think it was the right thing to do to keep my mental health balanced.

(i'm in dire need of a long, blissful, proper holiday. aren't we all?)

2 weeks of uni left! geez!

feeling insecure is the worst of them all -

i'm scared shit about the future. be it the near future or the long future, same thing. you see, i'm very insecure about my work. i need constant affirmation. and at times (like now, for example) i'll get so insecure that i think my work is not even up to the average standard.

i was told that this will go away as i become more confident, but seriously? i think i'll have to battle this for the rest of my life. my head is full of what ifs — what if no (good) studios like my work enough, what if i don't get a job/internship, what if the competition is even more callous than what they tell us, what if i actually am a very average designer-to-be with too much hope?

i'm scared. the future doesn't entice me that much, and i do think that the real world is overrated, and i'm SO in denial. i'm in such deep shit. ugh.

le cours de français -

i miss my french class.

i miss saturday morning as i knew it.
20-mins tram trip down to st kilda and a couple of minutes walk, while the world's waking up.
(at times it felt so tranquil that it seemed like the world was mine.)

me, my soy latte, my french books, with my ipod playing french chansons.
and i was always so happy to do it that i didn't mind waking up so early on saturday mornings.
and for those 4 hours lessons, i was content.

i miss ccf.
daily long trips to salemba and i was almost always late.

us, the room, the freezing cold aircon, les dames, la médiathèque.
daily short breaks in between with all the little snacks.
daily long lunches and chats afterwards.
and for those 7 weeks, i found a place so close to home.

i miss learning french.

i hate knowing that mine's getting a little rusty.