13 May 2007

feeling insecure is the worst of them all -

i'm scared shit about the future. be it the near future or the long future, same thing. you see, i'm very insecure about my work. i need constant affirmation. and at times (like now, for example) i'll get so insecure that i think my work is not even up to the average standard.

i was told that this will go away as i become more confident, but seriously? i think i'll have to battle this for the rest of my life. my head is full of what ifs — what if no (good) studios like my work enough, what if i don't get a job/internship, what if the competition is even more callous than what they tell us, what if i actually am a very average designer-to-be with too much hope?

i'm scared. the future doesn't entice me that much, and i do think that the real world is overrated, and i'm SO in denial. i'm in such deep shit. ugh.

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